Morton H. Pemberton, humorist

              MORTON H. PEMBERTON, Humorist
MORTON H. PEMBERTON
INTRODUCTION
By Walter Williams
MAN is the only smiling animal. His cousins, of lower animal type, smile not. They growl and jower—or, mayhap, grin—and break bones. Man has the saving grace of humor that makes the smile come upon his countenance and at times renders it vocal, which vocal smiling we call laughter. The mission of the humorist is to make men smile. In a world where Grief walks ever on the public highway and Pain is man's companion spirit, the mission of the humorist is high and holy. Laughter lengthens life. The ability to smile and the reason therefore gives strength and sustenance. The humorist is a benefactor of the human race. He drives away sorrow, puts courage into fainting hearts, chases the clouds from the sky. He is both tonic and anesthetic. A real humorist, in fact, is an entire medicine chest.
MAN is the only smiling animal. His cousins, of lower animal type, smile not. They growl and jower—or, mayhap, grin—and break bones. Man has the saving grace of humor that makes the smile come upon his countenance and at times renders it vocal, which vocal smiling we call laughter. The mission of the humorist is to make men smile. In a world where Grief walks ever on the public highway and Pain is man's companion spirit, the mission of the humorist is high and holy. Laughter lengthens life. The ability to smile and the reason therefor gives strength and sustenance. The humorist is a benefactor of the human race. He drives away sorrow, puts courage into fainting hearts, chases the clouds from the sky. He is both tonic and anesthetic. A real humorist, in fact, is an entire medicine chest.
Missouri has had little time to develop humorists. Her people have been too busy conquering the wilderness and building a State. The humorist is a product of less strenuous times. One, however, has come from within the borders of Missouri who still makes the world glad with his mirthful speech. Wherever there is innocent laughter Mark Twain is known and loved. This volume introduces another, Morton H. Pemberton, or, to employ his humorously suggestive pen-name, "Reuben."
Mr. Pemberton is a native Missourian. He was born in the Kingdom of Callaway and attended Westminster College and the State University. At the University he took the two highest medals for oratory. He has practiced law, edited a newspaper, trav¬eled in Europe, taken active part in politics and made notable success on the lecture platform. He has a most attractive style, his humor is untarnished by coarseness, and the touches of pathos are never overdone.
Those who have read "Reuben" will wish to hear him on the lecture platform and to read more from his graceful pen.
"BOB TAIL TO FULL DRESS," being a Missouri farmer's at-home-and-abroad observations, humorous and otherwise.
"REUBEN IN ROME"
"REUBEN IN THE LAND OF THE KAISER"
MORTON H. PEMBERTON
REUBEN’S SYNOPSIS
What a Missouri farmer saw in the Eternal City.
How he tumbled to the things that didn't fall when Rome fell.
A traveler's troubles in Dago Land.
What Rome has to show. St. Peters illuminated. The Colosseum by moonlight. The Pope and his Vatican. Cicero and the orators. The Roman Forum and other things.
All about the place where Marc Antony delivered his funeral oration when the Anarchists stabbed Caesar.
Look out for the variations.
Reuben in the art galleries.
All dry historical facts are moistened before serving.
Those who cannot see a joke in less than ten minutes after it is cracked will be charged twenty-five cents extra.
All apologies are made in advance—none are made in the lecture.
This lecture will not last all night. After one hour and twenty minutes there will be an intermission.
Yours in the cause of truth,
REUBEN.
P. S.—This lecture is original.    I wrote it myself.                           R.
PRESS AND PERSONAL  COMMENTS
"I remember with what great pleasure I listened to your lectures in the Hall of the House of Representatives during your terms as a member of the Missouri Legislature. I know of no better substitute for a trip to Europe than to hear Reuben in his famous travelogues."—Herbert S. Hadley, ex-Governor of Missouri.
"I read 'Reuben—His Book' with intense delight. I have not laughed so much since I first read Mark Twain. There is nearly as much philosophy as humor in it. The book ought to make 'Reuben' fame and fortune."—Champ Clark.
I am glad that 'Reuben' is going to be put in a form where it can be obtained by the general public. It deserves a wide circulation. Its wise philosophy is presented in a style that engages the attention and fixes it in the memory."—W. J. Bryan.
"I have read Morton H. Pemberton's 'Reuben In Rome' and regard it a most excellent production."—Col. Geo. W. Bain.
"Mr. Pemberton's humor reminds us of the broad fun of ex-Governor Bob Taylor, with the dainty ridicule of Trackeray."—M. S. U. Independent.
"Humor, descriptive power, gems of thought and marked ability as an orator form the basis of 'Reuben's' success as a lecturer."—Montgomery (Mo.) Tribune.
" 'Reuben' is the name under which Mr. Pemberton has written many excellent articles. The address was full of good thought. Mr. Pemberton showed much ability in passing from light strains of humor into solid common sense, at times illumined with a tinge of pathos."—St. Louis Republic.
Hot Air Condensed
Reuben, The Farm Lecturer
The lecture sparkles with wit, humor, pathos and flights of oratory, is very entertaining and instructive.    Unless Mr. Pemberton's
health prevents, we predict that he will become one of the shining lights of the lecture platform.—Columbia Statesman.
M. H. Pemberton's speech at the opera house last night was one of the most humorous, interesting and effective we have ever heard. It was full of humor, argument and incident ingeniously woven and forcibly spoken. He was perfectly at ease on the stage, having command not only of himself and the English language, but of his hearers as well.—Fulton Sun.
Mr. Pemberton is a humorist and his first sentence set the audience in an uproar of applause and he held them in rapt attention during his entire speech. One moment they were convulsed with laughter, and the next almost moved to tears. Mr. Pemberton has a bright future before him and we shall be surprised if he does not make a place in the lecture field in the same class with Rurdett, Mark Twain and Bill Nye.— Aux vasse Review.
Reuben, Missouri's second Mark Twain, is writing his new humorous lecture, "Reuben in Rome with Variations." When it is finished Reuben has agreed to give it in Columbia. Mr. Pemberton's Reuben articles are widely copied by papers in this and other states. He has just returned from a year's travel in Europe, and those who heard Reuben's lecture two years ago in the University Auditorium will not expect any dry bones in "Reuben in Rome, with Variations."— Missouri University Independent.
The rise of Morton H. Pemberton, now a famous humorist, has been rapid. When a student at the University here but a few years back, Mr. Pemberton was elected editor of the Independent. His spicy Reuben articles were copied all over the nation, and before the young man had time to realize the fact, he was becoming famous. He has just returned from a tour of Europe with a fresh assortment of funny sayings and classical observations which he has worked into his lecture, "Reuben in Rome, with Variations."—Columbia Daily Tribune.